How Coaching Helps — Live Your Deepest Self

People reach out for two kinds of help.

Naturally, people usually want more of a ‘good’ thing, and/or less of a ‘bad’ thing!

Transformational coaching responds to both motivations. But the nature of the response isn’t quite the same as in most modalities. In addition to pursuing the ‘more good’/’less bad’ paths, it also puts you in contact with your Deepest Self - which may have different judgements about what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - for you! Far from denying joy or idolizing suffering, connection with the Deepest Self puts us into contact with what is real, authentic, true … even eternal.

Example: An executive client wants to advance professionally. Case 1: Her Deepest Self is aligned with this goal. Coaching helps her to bring that Deepest Self to bear, both on successful advancement and in the way she then fills her new role. Case 2: His Deepest Self isn’t aligned with this goal. Coaching helps him to discover what he really wants - professionally, and perhaps beyond that. And then to follow that path. (Other, less-polarized, cases often exist!)

Transformational coaching helps to realize conventional positives - things like performance, vitality, connection, wholeness. But it also helps to to navigate things that are conventionally thought of as negatives - especially the intense challenges the twenty-first century is offering us …

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Twenty-First Century Challenges You May Be Facing …

Perhaps you’ve intentionally chosen a transformational path. Perhaps you’ve had the transformational challenge of the twenty-first century thrust upon you. Either way, you may be facing one or more of the following characteristic situations:

I Know There’s More! (In Me. To Life. For My Loved Ones!)

Pop spirituality will tell you ‘You are the Universe’. Although there is a kind of truth to that, if you haven’t authentically revealed that ‘You’ in your life, you can be left yearning for more. If you’re still living from childhood concerns, there may be a sharper pang – a sense of real lack. By releasing early-life patterns, and then living into a deeper reality, you can find true fulfillment.
This Planet Makes No Sense!

As an executive, a parent or partner, a spiritual seeker, or simply an ordinary human-being, it can be hard to make sense of a world of Covid, climate change, political polarization, injustice and inequality … and on, and on! It is possible to see this world in a new way, and navigate it purposefully, and joyfully. But that often calls for deep change in the subject who ‘sees’ the world … letting go of both early-life, and limited-adult, identities and modalities.
How Can I Find Meaning in Work? (Relationships? … The World?)

The Nobel physicist Steven Weinberg claimed that the more we understand this Universe, the more meaningless it appears to be. And many people find their professional lives in a corporate, digital, world to be less and less meaningful. Sometimes, this calls for a shift in career trajectory. But often it’s better to stay put, at least for a while, and explore the deep meaning of this World.

Help! My Partner’s Suddenly Spiritual! (Or, Succumbing to Shallow Rationality!)

Relationships of all kinds are a powerful vehicle for igniting transformation, and for grounding it. And one of the most powerful polarities on the planet right now is between the mystery of spirituality and the rationality of science. When the spiritual/rational balance in relationship shifts, sparks can fly. I can help harness these for passion and purpose, instead of scorching the Earth!
I've Tried Every Spiritual Tradition Under the Sun ... Nothing's Working for Me ...

The emergent volatility and meaninglessness in the everyday world are just symptoms of a deeper shift in reality-dynamics. Traditional spiritual approaches still meet vital pieces of what’s going on - and continue to be a vital support, for those who are here to take care of those pieces. But a significant number are here for whole of the deeper new. They need a new spiritual frame, to function fully…
An Uninvited and Unexpected Reality-Shift … (aka 'Spiritual Awakening'!)

If we ignore inner calls for ‘more’ and for ‘meaning’, they can build into an explosion. In the aftermath, we can find ourselves suddenly in a new, uninvited and unexpected reality —which can be extremely difficult to navigate! Without skilled professional help (which can be really hard to find!), we can find ourselves in a desert of lack and meaninglessness. I can help: I’ve been through this!

How Can I Feel Better? Why Am I Suffering? How Can I Help My Loved Ones?

Those who are called to a deep engagement with transformation can often experience difficult feelings, after responding to the call … sometimes even an intensification of suffering. The origins of pain and suffering, and compassionate and effective response to them, are a complex topic. There is no one-size-fits-all diagnosis and prescription. Nevertheless, there are certain structural features to the terrain, and deep and sensitive exploration can usually establish a helpful sense of local orientation.

Perhaps suffering’s darkest tone derives from the sense that ‘my pain is purposeless’. To the extent that this is true, I must find a way out. To the extent that there is a definite, constructive purpose involved, I must discover it … realize it … and then find a way out!